So I have been promising my daughter that we would decorate and organize her room. For 3 years.
Yep, there’s no doubt about it, I’m a procrastinator. But I think it’s finally time to get it done. The last couple of months I’ve been struggling with the idea that spending time and money on decorating and other frivolous things, is not only a waste of time and other resources but also, ungodly. You know what I mean, how can I bear to spend my time and money on my house looking pretty when there are babies and children starving all over the world? Doesn’t God call us to spend our time and money on them?(I believe He does.) So how can I blatantly ignore them while I paint and fluff pillows and hang chandeliers? Well, I can’t. I CANNOT IGNORE THEM!
Some of our dear friends, who also happen to be family, are adopting a boy from Uganda. It was not something that they planned to do or even sought out an opportunity to do. God sort of hit them over the head with it. And I was not far from the blast that is His spirit. I heard about a girl. And I immediately thought, “I want her. She’s mine.” Then I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would show me His will. Then I talked to my husband. I cannot even describe to you the look on his face. I knew instantly where he stood and I felt deflated. So I asked him to pray. And I know that when I ask him to pray, he does. A few weeks have gone by and I have prayed it through and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wants me to honor my husband and my husband does not believe God is calling us to adopt. I also know that she is not mine, but God’s. Just as all of these children are, including the ones I have birthed. This is a hard thing for me to grasp. Because I want certain things for these kids that are living with me. I want them to know God. I want them to serve Him. I want them to serve others. I want them to experience what it is like to give everything in order to help someone. I want them to be healthy. I want them to live to be very old. I want them to be safe. I want them to have everything they need. I think God wants most of these things too but I’m not sure I always understand or agree with how he wants to accomplish them. And I’m not sure he is as concerned with their health, wealth, and longevity. I’m willing to bet He is more concerned with the other things. The eternal things. This is hard. Because what if His will is that they don’t live to be old? What if His will is that they suffer for His name? I believe that when we lean on Him He will give us strength beyond our comprehension, but until I need that kind of strength, I will pray.
So, back to my point. I feel like, in light of the fact that we could use this money to give orphans a home, decorating and such is wrong. But my husband does not feel led to sell everything and give it all away. I actually asked. (insert sheepish look) Some would say he is wrong, that he is not living a spirit-led life or that he is caught up in materialism. But let me stop those thoughts dead.in.their.tracks. I can assure you, my husband is not materialistic. I begrudgingly admit, I am far far more materialistic than he is. I get excited about shopping, y’all. Like, excited. Maybe it’s because I feel guilty about this that I want to give away all my possessions with reckless abandon, I don’t know. But whatever the reason, my husband does not share my enthusiasm. He is willing to sell anything and everything if God calls us to do so but he does not believe that He is calling us to do so at this point in our lives. His heart goes out to these children but I know he feels a burden to help the elderly far more. I guess that’s the beauty in God’s creation, it’s not chaotic but it’s very diverse.
While I have been yo-yoing back and forth about these things my poor house has fallen apart. So I have decided that I will not make excuses about spending money but rather I will try to use what I already have and pray daily that God will have my heart. Where is the line between legalism and grace anyway? I have a feeling that it is very very thin sometimes. While I am praying, I will clean my house and run it as frugally as possible and sometimes, I will splurge. But I will always pray for grace. That God will give me the grace and wisdom to see when it is time to let go. When it is time to bring a child or elderly person into my home and give all that I have to care for them. In the meantime, I will give all that I have to the children already living here. That includes teaching them to serve. I refuse to see them as an excuse not to serve others but rather to see them as an inspiration to serve others.
Avril and I are going to be working on her room. She has waited so long and has been very patient with me. My goal is to have a calming place for her that reflects her personality. Her room is very small and tends to look cluttered so organization is a must. She’s a spunky little thing so a touch of whimsy would be nice but overall I want it to be peaceful.
This is her room currently:
Ok, so these are cell phone pics because I was too lazy to get out the camera. They aren’t great quality but it gives you an idea of how things are looking right now. The cabinet with the glass doors will not be staying in her room. It’s most likely going in the school room once that is complete. I’m debating on whether or not to put her bed on that wall or the big blank wall. I have decided that I don’t like it under the window. I am also considering relocating her white dresser and replacing it with a lower, wide dresser for under the window. The lower one would work much better in the space but I would hate to have to spend money on one since she already has a perfectly good dresser. But I may thrift shop for it and see what I can come up with. I’m envisioning a rustic wooden look but may go with white for a more cohesive look to her room. I have a couple of almost free projects up my sleeve and a gorgeous chandelier that’s been waiting to be hung. I also have one piece of artwork on order that will sort of be a focal point for her room. You’ll see why after it arrives. The other, non-necessary item that I’d really like to get for her is, a little table with 2 chairs so she and her friends can have a place to draw or play dolls or have a tea party. I was thinking ikea as they are the right price but will look at local thrift shops first.
Her bedding will mostly be the same as it is now only she needs new sheets. Hers are literally falling apart. I may make or buy some more throw pillows and I plan to add lace trim to her pillow cases.(one of my free projects.) I really wanted to do her nightstand differently but she begged me for blue. I just couldn’t say no. She had her little heart set on it. But we’ll clean it out and put books on the shelf and her little girl “necessities” in the drawer. A lamp and clock(another of her requests) will go on top in the gold tray. I plan to get book rack shelves for any books that don’t fit on the nightstand. Hopefully the majority of our books will be in the school room but there are just those special few that will have a home in her room.
I guess that’s the plan for now.
I’ll post pictures as we make progress.